Sex is a gift

We're going there, people.

Hi fam and welcome first-timers. Today, we’re going to talk about the other room, but in a different way.

Sex, like many taboo topics shrouded in mystery, often leaves interpretation to anyone who deems themselves worthy to set guidelines. However, what occurs is a cornucopia of contrasting and clashing opinions on what already has a manual; leading to heartbreaks, brick walls, and more questions including what the heck is this thing and what can I do about it? Today, I’m opening the manual.

There I was, like every imago Dei (at some point), questioning God, why is there no on and off button? This morning I was asking God about sexual desires. Why did God grant us access to it if he would rather us wait till marriage? Then the Holy Spirit replied. "Sex is God's wedding gift to you." Wedding gift? I asked. Ok, isn't that kind of off-topic?

(Just follow the logic for a bit.)

He replied. "Think of the prodigal son and his inheritance. The concept of inheritance basically means something built by your parents that becomes yours when they pass on. Like a gift. Technically, it's yours, but not until it is. Back to the prodigal son. Though he was entitled to his share of his father's inheritance, his impatience pushed him to demand it before his father died. And as weird as that was, his father gave him his inheritance early and he squandered it.

Sex, like inheritance, is a parting gift from God to his children who are beginning a new chapter in life. However, God can't die and he gives you access when you get married so it's more of a wedding gift. See? This is how impatience can lead you to squander God's wedding gift when you indulge in sexual temptations.

Excuses like "I'm not having sex, I'm just watching people do it." are like ruffling the wrapper of the present or shaking it to guess what's inside. You're distorting the image of the gift and it'll look less attractive when it's eventually opened. Masturbation is like buying inferior versions of the gift and you're constantly disappointed. Or maybe you outrightly snatch the gift from God’s hand because you found a really nice partner."

God keeps sex shrouded in sacred mystery like a writer builds suspense or that friend who double wraps your present to make you ask, what is it already? However, when you open it, it's totally worth it." The world is full of experiences and arguments to make us think it's ok to take a peek, to ruffle the wrapper. Isn't it still our present? However, just like the prodigal son, exercising patience by practicing sexual purity is for our own reward, not God's because his design of marriage requires certain attributes that help to enjoy his gift.

This is the concept behind 'coming of age' and why 5 year olds don't become kings, queens, or get access to trust funds until they are 18, 21 or whatever age is deemed mature enough. This provision is put in place to ensure that the child can properly appreciate and use the gift without many regrets. Imagine something you really cherish. How would you feel if you were allowed access to it when you were 8 but you broke or wasted it because you didn’t understand or appreciate it?

That's what sexual sin before marriage does. (During is another story)

So what now? How does knowing sex is a wedding gift help resist sexual temptations?

One. Honor.

Just like free will is important in love, it is also important in honor. The decision to honor God and his gift above our sexual temptations is an opportunity to show him our faithfulness. How does asking your parents for your inheritance sound? They'd probably feel used and hurt. So does God. When we have the right view of sex as a gift from God rather than a thing he despises, not only is our impatience reduced but we can openly discuss our struggles with God. And this is what he wants for us. For you.

Yes, there’s a gift in his hand but the gift he really wants to give is greater. Himself.

Two. Know that sex is just that. Sex.

Though married people start blushing like tomatoes when they talk about it, they know that sex is just that. This is not to underappreciate the gift but to highlight the fact that you can do without it. As a single pringle, it’s easy to think, “Oh once, I get married and can have sex without condemnation, life will be better.” Weeell… Not necessarily. Have you ever wanted something so bad and then you finally had it? How the need suddenly dissipates and now you want something else? Like the woman at the well, we humans are prone to go around drinking from wells that cannot satisfy or sustain us. However, there is a well in which we are truly satisfied.

Here, I’m going to refer to a devotional that really shed some light. (I'll link it in the comments)

Often, when we think we want sex, there’s an underlying need that’s unaddressed. Though, sexual urges are part of human physiology, not every sexual urge is biological, sometimes it’s one of these needs disguised. Some people are easily tempted when they are bored, others when they are stressed, lonely, need comfort or healing.

However, because sex (in all its versions) has been sold as a miracle remedy to cure all ills, we turn to it every time we experience these triggers; and like an illicit drug, though, it releases hormones that make us feel good at the moment, we feel worse tomorrow morning or even right after; but because we are addicted to the rush of adrenaline or the pleasure of dopamine, we keep going back.

I’ll end with this. To walk in sexual purity, we must understand that our sexual desires and emotional needs are not ungodly, but are in fact opportunities created by God to draw us closer to Him. And while we patiently wait for the wedding gift, we can seek the real gift - the well that never dries.

What are some perspectives you’ve had about our taboo topic?

Have any mind shifts recently? Let me know in the comments.

Enjoyed the post? Don’t forget to share.

You never know who might need it.

Love and Peace,

Kami.

📷: SouthernLiving, OprahDaily

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